Have you had FUN today?

Okay, I confess.  I'm one of 'those people' who rolls their eyes when reading an article, or listening to someone drone on about 'Acting Like a Kid' and 'When was the last time You did something FUN'.

I'm all for fun.  Who isn't?  But lets cut through the crap.  I am 40.  Ugh.  Yep, I said it.  And... I have 3 kids.  I  know fun thank you.  I see it regularly in the cyclone of family around me.

But what some of these great Fun loving enthusiasts seem to fail to realize is... and shhh - this is a BIG secret I'm about to share here...   Real people have Real Lives!!!  Omg.  Yes, it's true!

We go to work, we have mountains of laundry, we have homes that don't clean themselves or have a maid come in once a week to change the sheets and scrub the toilets for us, so that we can go out and frolic with the butterflies.

We get up early in the mornings to make lunches and wake up miserable little people who don't want to get out of their nice warm beds and go 'Get some Knowledge'.  We throw together the most healthy breakfast possible for someone that doesn't want to even eat yet, selves included and chauffeur them off to school (so that they actually make it there on time.)

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention how our real life also involves that wonderful 10 minutes of bliss under the hot water washing your cares away and wishing you were still in your own cozy warm bed.  Does that count as 'Fun'?

I don't think blow drying this crazy mane of hair counts, that stopped long ago as a teenager who had some super cute boy to impress.  Sorry babe, I love you to the end, but impressing you with my hair is no longer on the menu most days.  Thankfully smelling nice for you still does!

Fun... ahhh.... it really does sound great, but honestly at the end of the work day (where sadly I don't get paid to have 'fun' either), helping with homework, making sure everyone has been picked up or dropped off from lessons or play dates, making another healthy meal that everyone will sit down and enjoy together, assisting with bathing and bedtime routines - I don't have the energy for Fun.

I don't think we ever think forward when we're kids and assume that one day, the fun will just 'Stop'.  And it's a sad realization when it does.  And yes, we really should do something about it.

Now to just find the Time.  

I think it's next to the Energy!

What's in Your Trunk?

So, what's in your trunk this winter?

Apparently for most people, not what should be, according to the experts.  Go ahead, just ask Siri.  That's what my kids did earlier today, after being completely stumped as to why mom would be frustrated and annoyed to find that her 'Emergency Shovel' was laying in the front yard after being used to build a truly awesome ice fort last week.

First of all, I can appreciated a great Ice Fort.  I mean, I am a Canadian girl.  Born, raised here and despite my complete loathing for cold weather, I love seeing the boys outside, bundled up, getting rid of some of that pent up excess energy playing in the snow.  So long as they're being safe, not making one in the mountain of snow the plow slowly deposits where the driveway meets the road (also known as the 'garbage spot' for most), along with making sure they have the capability of a quick escape should it come crashing down (thin roof required!) - then I'm a happy camper.

However, the thought of being stranded somewhere, in need of one of the basic safety items I have made a concentrated effort over the years to keep in my trunk, especially during the cold and snowy winter months, really doesn't put this mom in a cherrie type of mood.

While I like to think we work hard to raise our kids to have, what I call basic knowledge, some days I am left mouth agape, shaking my head and wondering how they don't know certain things yet.

I guess it comes down to experience you've gained over the years though reading, doing stuff completely wrong and sometimes just being completely unprepared and paying the price.  (A little thing we call Natural Consequences!) 

When my boys didn't automatically understand WHY  I would possibly need a shovel in my trunk - I put them to the test and picked their brains as to why they thought it should be there.

Here's what I got in response:

a)  Incase someone tries to attack you, so you can smack them in the head with a shovel!

b)  So you can stop off at the stinky mushroom farm and bring home some manure in your car.  (eww - so gross!)

c)  For building sand castles at the beach?

d)  To be nice and pick up someone else's dog poop at the park.

e)  Incase dad makes you really mad and doesn't listen to directions, (15 yr old adds - you'll also need a bag of lyme!)  (Dear lord, what do they put on television now a days??)

So I've learned today - that my boys need a  few lessons in basic life and road safety, that they really are used to me gardening a lot - and wouldn't think twice about bringing animal poop home in my fine automobile,  and that maybe, just maybe I don't always stay calm and cool with dad in the car. ;)

Take a minute to look over this list and see what you might be missing!  Better safe than sorry (and Freezing!)

http://www.thesimpledollar.com/25-things-you-should-always-have-in-your-car/


Yep... STILL out there...

Are you Positive you really want your man to help more?

Ah Friday... Grocery shopping day.  I generally choose this day because my kids are all in school full time, I work from home and it's a good day to get it done before the craziness of the weekend begins.

If you say you've never been in a grocery store on the weekend - (a) I immediately wonder what planet you're from,  (b) I'm insanely jealous of your life,  (c) I think you're probably full of crap.

This morning I have the great pleasure (please note my usual sarcasm) of having my dear hubby wanting to help with the shopping.  Don't get me wrong.  He's a great man.  Helps out around the house a lot in the winter while he has down time from our business.  He cooks, does laundry, fixes stuff.  In fact he gets bored easily and asks if I have anything on the 'Honey Do List'.  All in all, I really lucked out in the husband department, because he's great looking to boot!

This however, is one department I'd really prefer to fly solo in.  Yes, I'm set in my ways (already!?) and have a particular 'way' of grocery shopping.  I like to put my reusable bags in the back seat so they're easy to grab when I get out of the car, he thinks they should go in the trunk.  

I like to go through the grocery store isle by isle and follow my list; he's willy nilly all over the place - to the point of sometimes hitting each isle twice!

I put my groceries on the conveyor belt in a particular order - yes, I'm really that OCD apparently.  I like things packed together so that unloading and putting it all away at home is quick and simple.  He throws everything in together.

There really are more... but I'll spare you any more gruesome details of my personality disorder.

All these things I really can 'stand' and do when he really wants to come, and I have no good excuse for him staying behind.  Sometimes I even manage to stay quiet with my complaints.  (Okay, now I'm the one full of crap - I moan a lot when we shop together and he laughs at me and my 'anal retentive' ways.)  But this week there's a new twist - he's going over all the flyers and making multiple lists.

There are now 3 stores on the list, with the potential for more, as he continues to go thought the pile.

While I applaud his plan to save a few dollars by going to multiple stores with items on sale, all I can picture is this process repeating itself multiple times and honestly, it's too much for me.  Not to mention the logic of driving from store to store and spending all that extra time, really seems to defeat the overall purpose.

So I'm doing what any smart sensible woman would do.

I'm sending him solo.

Lesson of the Day:  Be careful what you wish for.  You just might get it.

When Free isn't Free

In the couple of weeks building up to Christmas, a fantastic and famous photographer that I speak with on occasion and am a really big fan of, had a giveaway contest on his FB fan page.  For once it was something I'm actually good at - being creative!  (And because he chats with a great number of his fans, yes I still qualified to take part.)

A lot of people came up with some really awesome responses to the question posed and unable to decide on a clear cut winner, 8 of us won a copy of an absolutely stunning photo book created by this artist.  To say I was excited would be putting it mildly.  As a hobby photographer, I really look up to this persons work.

A few short days before Christmas my early 'present' arrived!!  I was going to put it under the tree and wait until Christmas morning to open it, but let's be real.  Anyone who knows me knows the chances of that actually happening are pretty damn slim.  I just wanted to rip it open two minutes after it was delivered to the front door!

It is a fabulous book, far larger than I had expected - not to mention it weighs a ton. 

Finding somewhere for it to live and be admired, while not actually being touched by any child or husband with grubby hands, has been a challenge in itself.

I stop by it every day or two, flip through the pages and dream I am far off in one of the gorgeous locations pictured.  It's a great escape, that as a mother and wife, I relish on nutty days.

So great right?!  Yeah... Ask yourself, is 'free' ever actually free?   Nope.  

This morning I finally got around to opening a few pieces of mail that arrived late this week (it's been busy around here okay...  Okay, really they were buried under a bunch of flyers on the kitchen counter that I hadn't managed to get into the recycling bin yet.)  and oh what do I find - an envelope from FedEx.  FedEx??  I really wondered on this one.  Who actually gets mail from them?

Inside was a lovely (please note my dripping sarcasm) bill for the duty owing on my 'gift' that is apparently valued at $100.

So yes, I now owe $25.12 for my 'free' book, because it came from out of country.

I love it still.  But I'll never look at it the same again.

What's a new pair of shoes worth to you?

Yesterday I received a package that was eagerly anticipated - new shoes!  What woman doesn't get excited about that?  Well, okay, I'm sure there are many of them out there - and quite a number who would be happy to tell me all about how there are much more important things in the world - and I will admit there are.

But I still get excited about new shoes.  Especially since I haven't gotten a new pair in awhile.  A couple of months actually.  That has to be a record for this girl!

While I don't normally order shoes online, as I am a 'try them on' kind of girl, this pair was to replace a pair that were 'destroyed' (and I'm not at all exaggerating here) when I lovingly lent them to my daughter for a New Years party.

Lesson 176:  Don't lend a teenager your shoes.  For anything.  Ever.

This is also why I chose a very inexpensive pair to lend her.  See... Smarter than your average bear.  Though Mr. B says if I was smart, I wouldn't have lent her a pair at all, with her track record for not returning things in good working order, or at all.  

Like I'm going to admit he's right.  Ha!

(Okay, so he was right - damn it.  Thankfully, he'll never read this and so it will be our secret.)

Anyway, as a good parent, with a husband rolling his eyes and giving me the 'I told you so' face, I did the right thing and promptly went online to the same store said shoes were purchased from and found a replacement pair - and made my daughter pay for them.

I am such a good mom some days!  (At least when it comes to figuring out how to get new shoes.)

Thankfully I have done a great job with her and she didn't complain in the least about paying for the new pair.  Now all I had to do was wait.  Which is hard.  Especially for shoes.

Living in Canada, I've learned to try to avoid ordering anything from the US, only because it's apparently a HUGE deal to ship something across an imaginary line.  I mean really.  It cost an extra $20 to get the same box that extra 1/2 hr past Buffalo?  No.  But you pay it anyway if you want the damn shoes.  And so I did.  Or should I say, she did.  

Ordered Sunday morning, I have to say I was impressed when the package arrived Friday morning.  That must be record time for getting something across the border.  At least for me it is!  

After happily ripping that baby open and giving the nod of approval to a great pair of black heeled faux leather booties, I was saddened to find out that they were too big.  Even though I ordered the exact same size as all my other shoes from that store have been. 

Okay, so they're too big.  Not a huge deal.  The one shining star in this moment was reading the back of the packing slip that stated I could easily return them within 30 days if I didn't love them for any reason.  Awesome!  They even provided a return label to place on the box.  How convenient.  Now I was wondering what fortune I was going to have to pay to ship them back to Ohio!

Wonderful surprise #2!  They had a mailing address for Canadian residents!  Yahoo!  And it just got better.  The return address was less than a 5 minute drive from my house!

Wow.  This was perfect.  I was heading out to run errands anyway; could easily drop off the shoes and not have to cough up a small fortune to send them back for exchange.  Perfect.

Yeah, you see it coming don't you.  Nothing is that easy.  I mean, why would it be?  That would just be too simple.  Too convenient.  Too awesome.

I was promptly notified in the reception office of the company contracted to accept returns on behalf of the shoe company, that policy (made by the US company that hired them) that they could not accept returns in person.  That they had to be sent in by courier or registered mail.  There had to be a 'record' of them arriving.

God forbid someone just give me a written receipt saying they got there.

Ugh!!  So much for easy.  (Whatever happened to the simplicity of the 'days of old'?)

So now I'm off to the Post Office, where I'll have to sign away a kidney to pay for a pair of heels that were marked down to a ridiculously great price, to go back around the corner from my house.

I'm starting to wonder if all these big companies own stock in the mail and parcel companies.  

It would seem so.

Thanks Charlotte Russe for the extra pain in my ass today.